Back to School in Paradise: Helping Children (and Parents) Navigate the New School Year

By Dujardin Bonet, LCSW-R, MSW, BTTI

Living in western Puerto Rico offers families a lifestyle many people dream about. Our children grow up surrounded by beaches, sunshine, nature, and a close-knit community. Summer often means long days at the beach, surfing, family gatherings, travel, and a welcome break from the structure of school.

Then August arrives.

Suddenly, alarm clocks replace lazy mornings, backpacks replace beach bags, and families find themselves adjusting to homework, carpools, extracurricular activities, and busy schedules once again.

For many children, this transition is exciting. For others, it can bring feelings of worry, uncertainty, or fear. The important thing to remember is that some anxiety during the back-to-school season is completely normal.

The Difference Between Normal Nervousness and Anxiety

Almost every child experiences some first-day jitters.

They may wonder:

“Will I like my teacher?”

“What if no one wants to sit with me?”

“What if I don’t make any friends?”

“What if I don’t know the answers?”

“What if everyone already has friends?”

These questions are a normal part of growing up and facing new experiences. Whether it’s starting kindergarten, moving to a new school, or entering middle or high school, children often worry about fitting in, making friends, and succeeding academically. In fact, a little nervousness can be healthy. It helps children prepare for new challenges and adapt to change.

Typically, these worries begin to fade after the first few days or weeks as children settle into their new routines, become familiar with their teachers and classmates, and gain confidence in their abilities.

When It May Be More Than First-Day Jitters

Sometimes anxiety becomes so intense that it begins interfering with a child’s daily life.

Parents should pay attention if their child:

• Frequently complains of headaches or stomachaches before school without a medical cause.
• Cries excessively or has panic-like reactions every school morning.
• Refuses to attend school or repeatedly begs to stay home.
• Has difficulty sleeping because they’re worried about school.
• Constantly seeks reassurance or asks the same questions over and over.
• Appears withdrawn, irritable, or unusually emotional.
• Continues struggling for several weeks after school has started.
• Has a noticeable change in appetite, energy level, or overall mood.
• Stops participating in activities they previously enjoyed or avoids spending time with friends.
• Has difficulty concentrating because worries are taking up so much mental space.

If these concerns persist, it may be helpful to consult with a pediatrician or mental health professional. Early support can make a significant difference and prevent anxiety from becoming more disruptive over time.

Helping Children Feel More Confident

Now that the school year has begun, many children are still adjusting to new teachers, new classmates, new schedules, and new expectations. For some, the excitement of the first few days has faded and the reality of homework, routines, and responsibilities begins to feel overwhelming.

Parents can continue to support this adjustment by creating a sense of stability and connection at home.

Try:

• Maintaining consistent bedtime and morning routines to help children feel rested and prepared.
• Asking open-ended questions about their day, such as “What was one good thing that happened today?” or “Was there anything that felt difficult?”
• Listening to worries without immediately dismissing them or trying to solve every problem.
• Helping children break larger challenges into smaller, manageable steps.
• Encouraging healthy friendships and positive social connections.
• Providing reassurance while reminding children that it takes time to adjust.
• Celebrating effort, courage, and progress rather than focusing only on grades or perfection.

Children are incredibly perceptive. When parents provide a calm, supportive environment, children feel safer navigating uncertainty and developing confidence in their ability to handle challenges.

Remember, adjusting to a new school year is a process. Some children settle in quickly, while others need several weeks or even longer to feel comfortable. Patience, encouragement, and consistency can make a meaningful difference.

Separation Anxiety Is More Common Than You Think

After weeks of spending nearly every day together, it’s natural for some children, especially younger ones, to have a difficult time separating from their parents.

As hard as it can be, avoid making the goodbye longer in an effort to reduce your child’s distress. Lengthy departures can unintentionally reinforce the idea that there is something dangerous or frightening about separating.

Instead, create a simple goodbye routine: a hug, an encouraging phrase like, “I know you can do this. I’ll see you after school,” and then leave confidently.

Although it may be difficult to walk away while your child is upset, children build confidence by experiencing successful separations, not by avoiding them. Most children calm down much sooner than parents imagine once they become engaged in the school day.

Confidence Grows Through Challenges

As parents, our instinct is often to protect our children from discomfort.

But confidence doesn’t grow from avoiding difficult situations. It grows from successfully facing them.

Instead of saying:

“You don’t have to go if you’re scared.”

Try saying:

“I know this feels hard, and I also know you can handle it.”

This subtle shift sends a powerful message: feeling anxious doesn’t mean you can’t do hard things.

Every challenge a child faces, and overcomes, becomes evidence that they are stronger than they thought.

Parents Feel the Pressure Too

Back-to-school season isn’t stressful only for children.

Many parents are balancing work responsibilities, transportation, homework, sports practices, meal preparation, appointments, and the countless details that come with family life. For some families, there may also be financial concerns, adjusting to new schools, or helping children with different learning needs.

Whether you’re a lifelong resident of Puerto Rico or recently relocated to enjoy life on the Island, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed trying to keep everything running smoothly.

Remember to extend the same compassion to yourself that you give your children. No family transitions perfectly into a new school year. And that’s okay.

Children benefit most from parents who are present, flexible, and emotionally available. Not parents who feel they have to do everything perfectly.

A Few Final Thoughts

As a therapist, I’ve had the privilege of working with many children and families over the past two decades. One thing I’ve learned is that anxiety is not the enemy. Anxiety is a normal human emotion that all of us experience throughout our lives.

Our goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety. Our goal is to teach children that they can tolerate uncertainty, face their fears, and discover that they are capable of handling challenges, even when they feel nervous.

Each new school year is more than just an opportunity for academic growth. It’s an opportunity for children to develop resilience, independence, confidence, and emotional strength that will serve them for years to come.

With patience, encouragement, and a little courage, those first-day butterflies can become the beginning of another wonderful year of learning. Not just in the classroom, but in life.

---

About the Author

Dujardin Bonet, LCSW-R, MSW, BTTI is a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Caribbean Counseling and Wellness Center in Rincón, Puerto Rico. With more than 20 years of experience, he specializes in treating anxiety disorders and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in children, adolescents, and adults using evidence-based approaches including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). He provides psychotherapy in both English and Spanish throughout Puerto Rico and New York.